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Black Jesus


I sat
White dress with little black triangles
Prim and proper
The 80's were a time of prim and proper children
And I was ready for my close up
But before that
I remember walking through Aunty Ruth and Great Grandma Ivory's living room
Hypnotized by the giant portrait of Black Jesus
Hair long and dark brown
Arms welcoming, face calm and loving
Light shining from the back of his head
A wreath of sun and glory and majesty
Taking me away from the noise of the outside world
And bringing me to peace

We got ready that day to take our pictures at Sears
Little Brother and I dressed in our finest
To make a good impression on the photographer
And to make Aunty Ruth proud

I can’t remember if we were back in NYC or still in Louisiana
It's where we had been for a while
And smiling was still hard sometimes
Just like calling Aunty Ruth my mommy was hard
Since she forged the papers to get us into school down south.
Or maybe I’m getting my times messed up
Sears was when I was 4

I remember posing, Hamzeh sitting in front of me
His black sweater with its wavy patterns scratching against my bare arms
My long curly hair resting down my back and along my shoulders
Smiling for the camera
Sears had never seen such well behaved colored kids
Never

I remember us going to the drive-thru at Burger Kind afterwards
And getting a ketchup stain on my dress that never came out
And seeing those pictures from that day
On the table near the
Black Jesus in my family's house.