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High Yellow Dreams



Imprisoned by this skin
I am criticized for relating,
but what am I,
if not black?

Palestine runs through these veins, like tidal waves
Rushing through the valleys of my soul
Indigenous chants sink their fingers into the brown curls
Of my hair and massage the thoughts that plague my mind
But when any other color is mentioned, it's disregarded
Makes me hate the color of my birth
Owning it never felt so hard
I feel disowned
Simply because I am not darker
Not quite pale,
but tanned isn't in the equation unless the sun has kiss my lips
I am no longer a friend of the sun
The wolf keeps me from her
And so I keep away from darker dreams of brown and beige and Africa
You tell me I can never know
And so I am not part of it

How can I even know?
How can I ever work towards your freedom?
How can I even identify?

Trapped is an understatement
There is no escaping
You ask me why I would want to trade with such a place
And then you talk of the beauty of it
The wonder of it
The sensuality of it
And how my skin and blood has become diluted
I am a diluting factor

And it hurts